It’s not weak to speak.

Mental health is the most important thing in the world, that effects us all in different ways.

I was first hit with depression when our good friend and team mate Alex took his own life. Back then I took it really badly resulting in going out drinking lots to try and numb the pain. I was young and naïve  ( it doesn’t work like that) Fast forwards a few years, I had an accident which has resulted me in being in chronic pain 24/7. They had me on morphine, tramadol, pregabalin, anti-depressants, liquid morphine and more. I was having to take over thirty tablets a day.

This was very, very bad for my mental health, not only had I just gone from being the most active person but now I could barely walk for nearly two years. This had a huge impact on my life, I felt that life wasn’t worth living anymore and over those two years I toyed with ending it all.

My parents would have to hide my meds. After feeling the outcomes of suicide first hand I just couldn’t do it. The lads from the cricket club would come round with take away curry and come around to watch Monty Panesar’s DVD to try cheer me up. In all honesty if it wasn’t for my incredible family friends and support network I genuinely wouldn’t be here. I still have rough days were I don’t want to carry on  but they are nowhere near as frequent  as what I used to go through.

Mental health is the most important thing on the planet, having this accident/injury has taught me that sometimes its okay not to be okay and to always reach out for help, even if its just a cup of tea with a friend or the lads coming round to cheer you up when you feel you can’t go on anymore. There is always someone on the end of the phone who you can talk to. They don’t even have to talk back, just listen. I would like to thank Sefton and the lads for always having my back. 

Jakob Surtees-Smith