The stakes are high in professional sport, and people want to win. The most successful teams and individuals are often thought to play ‘hard’, or to ‘not give an inch’. Indeed, such are the pressures of the game and environment that it may seem useful, even necessary, to put on an armour of sorts, both on the pitch and in the dressing room. I wonder if there is a fear that any display of human vulnerability might lead to a competitive disadvantage? Certainly athletes in other sports have admitted that any perceived chink in a rival’s mental state would be used against them, as the cyclist Mark Cavendish has disclosed; he used to target competitors that he perceived as ‘weak’.
It is perhaps unsurprising then that conversations regarding mental health, mental wellbeing, and sincere human feelings have rarely been welcomed in cricket changing rooms. They are often avoided entirely, or worse are shut down by a half-serious jibe from across the room. The landscape has begun to change, with the ECB and various charities and individuals speaking far more openly about the welfare, both physical and psychological, of players and staff. General awareness is being raised, but whether these discussions are becoming more acceptable amongst players and coaches themselves is a different question. Below I hope to give a brief insight into my own experience, and to explain why I think open and honest discussions can be hugely beneficial to cricketers in their capacity as sportspeople, but also just as people.
Everyone experiences some fluctuation in their mental health. Whether we ride the highs, struggle with self-doubt or simply wonder why we feel and perform better on some days than others, each of us sits somewhere on the continuum of mental wellbeing…this seat may even change from one day to the next, from the brightly lit window to the dim, quiet table at the back of the café, and this is normal. A helpful comparison is often made with physical health to explain this; In the same way that we may be in great shape, or be injured, may feel fresh or sore, so too our mind exists.
Therefore, I have always been slightly confused by the apparent reluctance to talk honestly about mental wellbeing. Grown men, and I can only speak here from my personal experience of male changing rooms and teams, are happy to seek help for a torn hamstring if it will enable them to return to play better and stronger, but are often sceptical or uncomfortable at the prospect of speaking about how they feel. A further contradiction lies in the generally held opinion that cricket is a hugely ‘mental game’, with the eminent sports psychologist Jeremy Snape describing the mind as the ‘next frontier’ of high performance.
I am aware that I write with a huge amount of personal bias and agenda. I feel fortunate that my upbringing normalised and encouraged conversations about how one might be feeling in a society which has been increasingly aware of such issues, this was perhaps not the case for many of the men I know play with. I wonder if there is a way of presenting the benefits of these discussions as an additional form of training. Sports people are happy to be honest regarding technical deficiencies, and to work at them in the knowledge that this will improve their game, and if mental wellbeing was framed in a similar light, perhaps there would be less hesitancy towards it.
Why, though, am I so in favour of talking? The most prominent discussions of this topic amongst cricket players have, for the most part, come from older players. Trescothick, Trott, Swann and Yardy, to name but a few, played many years of professional cricket before they spoke about their health deteriorating. I firmly believe that if conversations can be encouraged and normalised earlier on in a players career, then they will have a greater awareness of how they are feeling, and might be able to prevent steep declines in their mental health.
Eighteen month ago I myself suddenly encountered a very challenging period. Seemingly out of nowhere I began to experience feelings and thoughts I was not familiar or comfortable with; I was quick to anger, I lost what little sense of humour I had ever had and, most acutely, I began to be scared of going to cricket, of training and of playing. I couldn’t stop thinking about the game, but every thought was a negative one. It was strange. It was scary. Talking about it helped me, I was told that I was not the only person to feel this way.
I feel hugely fortunate to have been in a dressing room which is relatively open in discussing these issues, and I realise that many of my anxieties and thoughts were not entirely unique. It had felt at the time that there was perhaps something wrong with me, or with what I was doing, since on the surface I was living out my childhood dream. I remember a distinct sense of guilt as I would drive into training and just want to go home, but through talking I realise now that some of the feelings I experienced were entirely normal for people at different points in their lives.
The idea that someone in my position may not feel able or comfortable enough to have these conversations is deeply worrying to me, and I hope this article highlights why. Talking through an experience can often synthesise your own thoughts, and enable one to be more aware of exactly how they are feeling. Personally, continuing to have these conversations holds me accountable to myself. It exposes certain potentially damaging thoughts for what I believe them to be; natural, human reactions to the experiences and pressures we encounter.
Mental health inhabits an undulating landscape from day to day, and understanding, even just a little, where you or a teammate is on a given day can make a huge difference to how that day goes.
A complete shift in mindset and behaviour in the game will require great courage and resilience on the part of a few individuals, but it is not unattainable. A simple question or a sincere text to a teammate might be all that is needed; once the safe environment is established honest, open and productive conversations will follow. If sports people really do ‘just want to get better be as good as we can be’ , as we all spend so much time saying we do, then I believe we have an obligation to cultivate and develop our mental wellbeing, and that of our teammates in the same way and with the same commitment as we work on our technical skills, and talking may be one way that we can do that; I know that it helped me, both as a person and as a cricketer.
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